Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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