i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
