I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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