Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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