so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
