hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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