bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
