That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
