This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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