One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
