You really coming over, don't trick.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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