just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
