White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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