we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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