I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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