let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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