A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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