I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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