They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
