but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
