But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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