Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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