Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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