youre lurking in front of me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
