And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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