If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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