Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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