Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
