they said they heard you say put it in my butt
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
