So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize