I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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