You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
