Kiss
Puke
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
