Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
