Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
