Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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