dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Are we still banned from the library?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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