Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
