I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
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He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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