I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
