dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
