He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
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Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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