oh god the rape fog is back!
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
