Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
