Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize