oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
