Kiss
Puke
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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