Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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