I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
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You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
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Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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