repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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