aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize