I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
