he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
