ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
