I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
