I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
