i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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