woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
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I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
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I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50