We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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