i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
