What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize