My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i dont even know how to be here
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
