Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
