Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Randomize
