have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
