I wish my penis had an off switch
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize