google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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