Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
